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kelly_chambliss ([personal profile] kelly_chambliss) wrote2013-10-26 09:44 pm

Stuff that Pisses Me Off

Commercial Greeting Cards -- I recently tried to buy a birthday card for my brother, and after looking at about 700 of them, I was ready to make a bonfire of the lot. Your choices are a) sappy, b) old-person joke, c) religious, d) fart joke, e) flowery, f) old-person sex joke, g) prostate joke, h) boob joke, and i) old person fart-and-prostate-and-sex joke.

I finally just made my own card, which I should have known to do from the start.

Of course, nothing will ever top the best commercial birthday card I ever got, from my other brother: Outside, it said, "I couldn't ask for a better sister." Inside, it said, "Well, I could, but I think Mom's too old now."

School Buses -- To ensure the safety of school children as they get on and off the school bus, US motorists are required by law to stop their cars while a school bus is loading and has its red lights flashing.

At this point, you're probably saying, "And why does this piss you off, Kelly? Don't you think we need to keep children safe?"

Yes. Yes, I do. I have no problem with the school-bus-red-light law. But picture this:

In the four houses across the street from me live four children, one to each house. Each house lot is about 25 feet wide. Every morning, the four kids, each with an attendant parent, wait at the foot of their driveways for the bus to come.

Also every morning, the children's hapless college professor neighbor (that would be me) tries to leave for work either before or after the school bus comes. Because on those sad says when she and the school bus coincide, the following happens:

The school bus comes along and stops at House #1. The red lights go on. In accordance with state law, the college professor neighbor stops her car.

Kid #1 climbs on the bus. Parent #1 exchanges pleasantries with the bus driver. Bus driver closes the door and waves. Parent #1 waves.

The bus starts up again, red lights still flashing. CP neighbor remains in her stopped car.

Bus drives 25 feet up the road to House #2. Bus stops. Kid #2 climbs on the bus. Parent #2 exchanges pleasantries with the bus driver. Bus driver closes the door and waves. Parent #2 waves.

Bus starts up again, red lights still flashing. CP neighbor is still sitting there, stopped.

Bus drives 25 feet up the road to House #3. Bus stops. Kid #3 climbs on the bus. Parent #3 exchanges pleasantries with the bus driver. Bus driver closes the door and waves. Parent #3 waves.

Bus starts up again. Want to guess what happens at House #4?

CP Neighbor has now been sitting in law-abiding motionlessness for at least five minutes.

Kids need to be safe. I get that. But why does safety require that the bus stop individually at Every. Effing. House? Why can't all the parents and kids walk 25-50 feet to one central location where all four children can board the bus at once?

Now, I know how annoying it is when old people say, "In MY day. . ." But seriously, in MY day (which wasn't all THAT long ago), there was one school bus stop on our street, and we all walked to it. It wasn't far. It wasn't dangerous. Kids can't walk 50 feet to get on the bus? Really?

Hey, white people. Do not dress in black-face. I don't care what your lame-ass reason is. Don't do it. At all. Ever. K? Sheesh.

Another thing that pisses me off is that Dreamwidth has inexplicably stopped cross-posting my entries to LJ. Yet all my cross-post settings are correct; I've checked. Still, even when I have the "cross post to LJ" box checked, it doesn't happen. Why, DW, WHY?

I will have a less pissy post later. Maybe.

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